Joketime - Translation - English to french?

Let’s learn French. Oui?

1.TURN – le coup
2. LITER – le true
3. BEHIND – le coud
4. ALMS – le mousse
5. FIVE – le ma
6 . FLY – le pad
7. DID NOT TAKE A BATH – le bag
8. CONFUSED – le tou
9. NO LONGER A VIRGIN – les pag
10. UNFAITHFUL HUSBAND – cou ma le wah
11. CITY – ce vou
12. DRUGS – sha vou -
13. GOODBYE – va vou
14. MUSICAL BAND – com vou
15. BALD – cal vou
16. CAUGHT IN THE ACT – na vou coup, na coup!!
17. FEATHERS – valahe vou
18. UNCLEAR – ma la vou
19. SINK – lah va vou
20. COCONUT – vou coup
21. OPEN WIDE – vou camou
22. CIRCUMCISE – vou ratattouile
23. ALWAYS UP – va yagriah
24. YOU’RE HOT – le voug mou
25. WASHROOM – coup vaetta
26. JAIL – coup lou ngan
27. SUPER BOOBS – la que zõusõu
28. BUGER – cõup la ngõut
29. WOUNDS – va cõup cängh
30. BIG MOUTH – chez moussa
31. NAGGER – vou nga nguerrah
32. TADPOL – vou teiteh

Joketime

once upon a time,

there was a small passenger plane cruising in the air

carrying 3 passengers-a priest, a boy scout and a president of a firm,

when suddenly, the engine went dead!

all the passengers are in panic!!

the 3 parachutes weren’t enough for them..!!

“I have a wife and 3 children” cried the pilot, then grab a parachute then jumped into the void !!

“I am the smartest man in the world!!” proudly yelled by the president then hurriedly grab one slide into his arms then jump out on the falling plane..!!

the boy scout and the priest were left..

“Son grab the last parachute..I’m old and ready to meet our creator”

“Relax Father!!!!” said the boy scout with a smile..

there is enough parachutes for us to use…

the “SMARTEST” man in the world just jumped out with my knap sack

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A soldier ran up to a nun, out of breath, he asked, “Please may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later”. The nun agreed.

A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way. ”

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under the skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq. “

The nun said she understood completely.

The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs.”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don’t want to go to Iraq either”

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BEFORE MARRIAGE

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE
Read from the bottom going up

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A priest is hearing confessions one afternoon when he has to go to the bathroom. He calls janitor over to take his place. The janitor resists saying he isn’t a Catholic or a priest and will not know what to say. The priest assures him that everything will be fine if he just follows the chart in the confessional.

“If someone comes in and says they have stolen, you tell them to say two Hail Mary’s and don’t do it again,” explains the priest. “Just follow the chart.” And with that, the priest leaves.

The janitor sits down, and in walks a man to confess.

“Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have had anal sex with another man.”

The janitor is shocked! He keeps going over the chart, trying to find a reference to anal sex and can’t find any. He starts to get worried and opens the confession door, and asks a nearby choirboy, “What does the father give for anal sex?”

“Well,” says the choirboy, “usually it’s a T-shirt and a candy bar.”

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in an anatomy exam,

the teacher asks the class to draw

a Female reproductive organ..

1 girl feel shy,

luks down and opened her panty..

then a boy shouts:

mam oh! she’s CHEATING!!

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Three women were talking about their love lives.
The first said: “My husband is like a Rolls-Royce, smooth and sophisticated.”
The second said: “Mine is like a Porsche, fast and powerful.”
The third said: “Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it’s still going.”

English Tagalog Dictionary

1. Contemplate – kulang ang mga pinggan
2. Punctuation – pera para maka-enrol
3. Ice Buko – nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
4. Tenacious – sapatos na pang tennis
5. Calculator – tawagan kita mamaya
6. Devastation – sakayan ng bus
7. Protestant – Tindahan ng prutas
8. Statue – Ikaw ba yan?
9. Tissue – Ikaw nga!
10. Predicate – Pakawalan mo ang pusa
11. Dedicate – Pinatay ang pusa
12. Aspect – Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
13. Deduct – Ang pato
14. Defeat – Ang paa (ng pato?)
15. Detail – Ang buntot (ng pato?)
16. Deposit – Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
17. City – Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
18. Cattle – Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
19. Persuading – Unang Kasal
20. Depress – Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
21. Defense – Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
22. It Depends – Kainin mo ang bakod
23. Shampoo – Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
24. Delusion – Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)
25. Delivery – Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang
26. Profit – Patunayan mo
27. Balance Sheet – What comes out after eating a balance diet
28. Backlog – bacon saka egg
29. Beehive – magpakatino ka
30. CD-ROM – tingnan mo ang kwarto
31. Debug – ang ipis
32. Defrag – ang palaka
33. Defense – ang bakod
34. Defer – ang balahibo
35. Deflate – ang plato
36. Detest – ang eksamin
37. Devalue – ‘yon ang susunod sa letrang V
38. Devote – ang boto
39. Dilemma – brownout!, a!
40. Effort – ‘dun nagla-land ang efflane
41. Forums – apat na kwarto
42. July – nagsinungaling ka ba?
43. Liturgy – what comes after litur F
44. Thesis – ito ay…

Manny Pacquiao is the best "Fighter Of The decade"

From http://www.thesweetscience.com/boxing-article/7427/pacquiao-seals-fighter-decade-victory-over-cotto/

Pacquiao Seals "Fighter Of The Decade" With Victory Over Cotto

By Frank Lotierzo

Heading into 2009 the debate as to who was the "Fighter Of The Decade" was still up for grabs between Manny Pacquiao 50-3-2 (38) and Floyd Mayweather Jr. 40-0 (25) as both had a legitimate claim to the honor. Both Pacquiao and Mayweather captured multiple division titles over the last ten years and were considered the best pound for pound fighter in boxing circa 2000-2009.

Mayweather has remained undefeated since making his pro-debut in 1996 and Pacquiao's only defeat in the last 10 years came in 2005 against Erik Morales who he later defeated in two subsequent rematches. Another commonality that Pacquiao and Mayweather shared during the decade is they both defeated Juan Manuel Marquez, Oscar De La Hoya and Ricky Hatton in three of their biggest and most high profile bouts fought between featherweight and junior middleweight.

This past weekend Pacquiao took apart Miguel Cotto, a fighter many boxing aficionados believe Floyd Mayweather had no intention of fighting since Cotto moved up to welterweight. And it's Pacquiao's victory over Cotto to capture the WBO welterweight title that erases any doubt whatsoever as to who has earned the distinction as the fighter of the 2000's.

No matter how you try to twist and spin it, there isn't one case that can be made favoring Mayweather over Pacquiao for the Ring Magazine award that Muhammad Ali and Sugar Ray Leonard earned for their body of work compiled during the 1970's and 1980's. Roy Jones was voted the fighter of the 1990's, but the case supporting him wasn't as overwhelming as it was for Ali and Leonard. Although Jones did dominate two undisputed all-time greats when he beat Bernard Hopkins and James Toney, who were a combined 66-1-2 when he fought them.

Boxing fans and observers understand that it doesn't matter how many fights a particular fighter has won, it comes down to who did he/they beat? Nobody goes undefeated if they constantly fight the best available opposition they can once they've achieved the championship/superstar level.

Muhammad Ali lost the biggest and most anticipated fight in history to "Smokin" Joe Frazier and was still voted "Fighter Of The Decade." And that's because he came back and beat Frazier twice, fought Ken Norton three times going 2-1, beat George Foreman for the undisputed title, beat Jerry Quarry twice and also beat Ron Lyle and Earnie Shavers in between 1970-77.

Sugar Ray Leonard defeated hall-of-famers and all-time greats Roberto Duran, Thomas Hearns and Marvin Hagler who were a combined 166-3-2 when he fought them. And two of those three losses were Marvin Hagler's and he hadn't lost in 11 years before fighting Leonard.

The same applies to Pacquiao when it comes to beating first tier opposition. Manny is 5-1-1 versus Marco Antonio Barrera, Erik Morales and Juan Manuel Marquez. All three are absolute hall-of-famers along with being great fighters. Add to that Miguel Cotto at 145 and Mayweather's resume simply doesn't compare to Pacquiao's as far as depth. Sure they both defeated Marquez, but Pacquiao fought him at his more natural weight and at a time when he was clearly closer to being at his best.

Mayweather also had his share of big wins during the 2000's beating Jesus Chavez, Diego Corrales, Jose Luis Castillo twice and Zab Judah. That said, Mayweather cannot claim a victory during the last ten years over a certifiable great fighter who wasn't past their prime or fighting out of their natural division when he fought them.

During the years 2007-09 both Pacquiao and Mayweather beat Oscar De La Hoya and Ricky Hatton. However, Oscar was an empty package with a big name when they beat him. And beating Ricky Hatton is a wash and doesn't justify "Fighter Of The Decade" for either Manny or Floyd. In order to make the case for Pacquiao over Mayweather or the opposite, it requires going deep into their body of work over the last ten years to build the case.

When all is said and done and in spite of him not going undefeated the entire decade, Manny Pacquiao's body of work is deeper and more impressive than Floyd Mayweather's. Forget about who is the more technically sound and proficient fighter, or who's the most exciting and more entertaining to watch; none of that comes into play for this honor.

Many will argue that Pacquiao's strongest claim over Mayweather is the fact that he won more titles in different weight divisions than Mayweather did. But titles aren't the be all end all to resolve or settle this debate. They both worked the system in some ways to gain a couple of those titles. What carries the most weight and is the truth detector here is, Pacquiao beat better opposition in big fights than Mayweather did.

And if it were close heading into their last fight of 2009, Pacquiao erased all doubt with his dominant performance against Miguel Cotto - who happens to be superior to any welterweight Floyd Mayweather has ever fought.

It's undeniable - Manny Pacquiao is the "Fighter Of The decade" circa 2000-2009.

Ika- 21 Gawad CCP Para sa Alternatibong Pelikula at Video

The Ika- 21 Gawad CCP Para sa Alternatibong Pelikula at Video is the longest running film and video competition in the Philippines. It is a competition for works in 16mm and 35mm format for film and DVD and MiniDv formats for video. It is held in the categories of Short Feature/Narrative, Experimental, Documentary and Animation.

Cash prizes will be given to winners of the different categories. Special Awards will be given for Best Regional Entry, Best Entry based on or inspired by the works of a Filipino National Artist and Best Entry for/on/by Children. Honorable mention may be awarded by the jury.

Venue : Tanghalang Manuel Conde
Time : No set time
Date : Dec 8, 9, 10, 11 2009

World Pyro Olympics 2009

Prepare for a more explosive, more spectacular experience! Witness the country's first pyromusical competition at the Bonifacio Global City, Taguig.

The world's best teams will showcase their artistry and technical skill by shooting dazzling fireworks synchronized with musical scores. The competition's new venue, a departure from the past years' water-based firing, will allow for more creativity and versatility in the use of ground level and special effects.

Date of Firing Performer
21 November - Germany, China
28 November - Canada, Australia
05 December - Japan, Italy
12 December - Korea, USA
19 December - Fellowship of Fire, Philippines

For inquiries, call 509-4922, 568-6908, 384-0239, 904-1100 or 0906-366-9488.

Meteor Shower in the Philippines tonight

Pagasa (Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration)announce that atleast 500 meteor per hour will be visible in the philippine sky tonight November 17, 2009 at 11:00 pm to 7:00 am November 12, 2009.

Full reports from www.gmanews.tv

The Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (Pagasa) said at least 40 meteors per hour are likely to be seen from 11 p.m. Tuesday to 6 a.m. Wednesday.

“Trails laid down by the comet in 1466 and 1533 are expected to be the chief contributors to this shower, which peaks on November 17, at about 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. (the next day)," Pagasa head Prisco Nilo said.

“New Moon on November 17 ensures perfectly dark skies for observers of this shower under normal weather conditions," he added.

He said the Leonids Meteor Shower stems from bits of debris left behind by the repeat passages through the inner solar system of comet 55P/Tempel-Tuttle.

Pagasa made this assessment based on theoretical work by Astronomers David Asher, Esko Lyytinen and Marku Nissinen, Mikhail Maslov, and Jeremie Vaubaillon.

Citing a statement from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), Pagasa said observers in Asia and Europe may see as many as 100 meteors per hour.

“This year our planet will pass through this stream again, but this time closer to its center where more material will slam into our atmosphere. The meteoroids, typically the size of a sand grain, vaporizes as it travels downward in the atmosphere. Some pea-sized objects create dramatic fireballs," Nilo said.

But NASA, in a December 4, 2008 statement, hinted up to 500 meteors per hour can be seen.

“On Nov. 17, 2009, we expect the Leonids to produce upwards of 500 meteors per hour," said Bill Cooke of the NASA Marshall Space Flight Center in 2008. “That’s a very strong display."

NASA said that on Nov. 17, Earth will pass through the 1466 stream again, but this time closer to the center.

Based on the number of meteors observed in 2008, Vaubaillon estimated the strength of the coming display at 500 or more Leonids per hour during a few-hour peak centered on 21:43 UT (5:43 a.m.). - GMANews.TV

Watch Pacquiao vs Cotto live online

Watch the Pacquiao versus Diaz LIVE and FREE, without advertisements on your PC with internet connection.


1. Online video streaming site

www.justin.tv - Live Video Streaming


2.You need to download and install the latest SopCast client/player(free to download), you need an internet connection. install the software, run it, login as Anonymous and look for the SopCast channel for Pacquiao vs Diaz Fight.

Tentative SopCast channel about the Pacquiao - Cotto fight:

*I will add the sopcast channel when they become available*

What many Pacquiao mean to the Philippines

I just watch elie seckbach youtube video outside Wild Card Gym, interviewing manny fans about Pacman's coming fight against Miguel Cotto.
One question he ask that make me think is What many Pacquiao means to the Philippines right now? one Fililipino-American fans answered "He is the light and hope of the Pilipino right now, especially with all the crisis that happening in the Philippines. he's the only thing that give us happiness"

Cebu Dancing Inmates dance Queen Medley

Performed on October 31, 2009

Sara Geronimo's Record Breaker Photos

Sarh Geronimo's Record Breaker Concert Photos








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Manny Pacquiao - Time Magazine Cover

Manny Pacquiao is the second non-heavyweigth professional boxer to be featured in the cover of the Time magazine asia.
More Manny Pacquao news at Pacmanology

Sarah Geronimo's Record Breaker Concert - November 7, 2009

Philippine Concert Princess Sarah Geronimo's Record Breaker Concert will be held tommorrow, November 7, 2009 at the Araneta Coliseum.

Sarah's 4th concert in the Araneta coliseum expected to be more bigger and more exciting than the previous three which were all successful.

Viva Concerts promises that "Record Breaker" would be showcasing the Sarah that has set a new standards as a total entertainer.

More news about Sarah Geronimo at http://www.mahalo.com/sarah-geronimo

Bagong Botante Bloggers event at Magnet Cafe BHS on November 13

Bagong Botante Bloggers event on November 13, 2009 at Magnet Cafe, Bonifacio High Street in Global City. Registration will start at around 6PM and event will start at 7PM.

you can register here at http://azraelsmerryland.blogspot.com/2009/10/bloggers-event-at-magnet-cafe-bhs-on.html

or here
http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dFMyd2d6VW5fRjIwNDNWVTRsa0VLS3c6MA