Joketime

once upon a time,

there was a small passenger plane cruising in the air

carrying 3 passengers-a priest, a boy scout and a president of a firm,

when suddenly, the engine went dead!

all the passengers are in panic!!

the 3 parachutes weren’t enough for them..!!

“I have a wife and 3 children” cried the pilot, then grab a parachute then jumped into the void !!

“I am the smartest man in the world!!” proudly yelled by the president then hurriedly grab one slide into his arms then jump out on the falling plane..!!

the boy scout and the priest were left..

“Son grab the last parachute..I’m old and ready to meet our creator”

“Relax Father!!!!” said the boy scout with a smile..

there is enough parachutes for us to use…

the “SMARTEST” man in the world just jumped out with my knap sack

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A soldier ran up to a nun, out of breath, he asked, “Please may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later”. The nun agreed.

A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way. ”

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under the skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq. “

The nun said she understood completely.

The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs.”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don’t want to go to Iraq either”

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BEFORE MARRIAGE

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE
Read from the bottom going up

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A priest is hearing confessions one afternoon when he has to go to the bathroom. He calls janitor over to take his place. The janitor resists saying he isn’t a Catholic or a priest and will not know what to say. The priest assures him that everything will be fine if he just follows the chart in the confessional.

“If someone comes in and says they have stolen, you tell them to say two Hail Mary’s and don’t do it again,” explains the priest. “Just follow the chart.” And with that, the priest leaves.

The janitor sits down, and in walks a man to confess.

“Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have had anal sex with another man.”

The janitor is shocked! He keeps going over the chart, trying to find a reference to anal sex and can’t find any. He starts to get worried and opens the confession door, and asks a nearby choirboy, “What does the father give for anal sex?”

“Well,” says the choirboy, “usually it’s a T-shirt and a candy bar.”

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in an anatomy exam,

the teacher asks the class to draw

a Female reproductive organ..

1 girl feel shy,

luks down and opened her panty..

then a boy shouts:

mam oh! she’s CHEATING!!

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Three women were talking about their love lives.
The first said: “My husband is like a Rolls-Royce, smooth and sophisticated.”
The second said: “Mine is like a Porsche, fast and powerful.”
The third said: “Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it’s still going.”