Halo Halong Pinoy

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Joketime : Filipino VS American

Question and Answer

A Filipino and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.

The Filipino, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa.”

Again, the Filipino declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $500.”

This gets the Filipino’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The Filipino doesn’t say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

“Okay,” says the American, “Your turn.”

So the Filipino asks, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”

The American thinks about it. No answer.

Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!

He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers.

Checks the input. All to no avail!

Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Filipino and hands him $500.

The Filipino thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.

The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Filipino and asks,

“Well, what’s the answer?”

Without a word, the Filipino reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep!

_____________________________________

Recycle

A Filipino is having breakfast in a hotel in France one morning. He was
eating bread and jam when an American while

chewing his gum, sits down next to him. The Pinoy ignores the Kano who,
nevertheless, starts a conversation:

American: "You Filipinos eat the whole bread??"

Filipino: (Little irritated): "Of course."

American: (after blowing a huge bubble): "We don't. In America, we only eat
what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform
them in to croissants and sell them to the Philippines." The American has a
smirk on his face. The Pinoy listens in silence. Still the American
persists.

American: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

Filipino: "Of course."

American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chucling). "We don't. In
America, we eat fresh fruits for breakfast, then we put all the peels,
seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam
and sell the jam to the Philippines."

The Filipino (irritated) asks: "Do you have sex in America?"

American: "Why of course we do!".

Filipino (now smirking): "And what do you do with the condoms once you've
used them?"

American: (a bit puzzled): "We throw them away, of course."

Filipino: "We don't. In my beloved Philippines, we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them into chewing gum and sell them to America...

_____________________________________

Wanted : Painter

There was one Pinoy who came to America and looked at the classified ads for painting jobs. He came across the "Help Wanted" section that read - "Wanted: Painter of Porch", and thought that was perfect for his capabilities.And so he went to the American who posted the ad.

American: I need my porch painted in a day. You need to scrape all the paint up to the bare surface, and apply a coat of primer then two final coats of orange paint. Can you do that?

Pinoy: Oh yes, sir.. yes, sir! I can remoob the paint then apply orange paint beri well!

American: Ok! You got the job. Just get everything you need from the trunk of the car.After 3 hours...

Pinoy: Sir, work is pinis oreydi!

American: Wow! I'm amazed you did it in 3 hours. Did you scrape all the old paint to the bare surface?


Pinoy: Oh yes, sir! Yes, sir! I tanggalated all the old paint!


American: Well then, here's your $20 bonus!


Pinoy: Golly, sir! Tenk yu beri much. But sir, you don't heb a porch.. your car is a BMW...!


1 comment:

Ayame Yokomi said...

hahaha!
LOL! that way so funny!! =))

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